MANAGLITCH CITY UNDERGROUND
Ep. #34, draft #1 – written by Michael O’Brien
PRINS. SWIFTSTORM Princess Swiftstorm the Second: she narrates the show opening. She is educated royalty, kind and popular. Speaks as a sage to students.
GLENN 755 The spokesman for Managlitch City Underground. He is trapped somewhere he doesn’t understand, and he’s panicky, trying to hold onto himself with a constant monologue.
SANDREL CREED Sandrel Creed is a non-binary artificial intelligence in a humanoid body. Ze has the ability to hack into the MGCU feed to present zir own opinions of Glenn SevenFiftyFive and his friends.
ANNOUNCER Reader for closing credits and links.
Music: “Crime of the Century” by Consortium 499 (https://www.reverbnation.com/consortium499)
Licensed under private arrangement
1. MUSIC: BACKGROUND MUSIC – “CRIME OF THE CENTURY” BY CONSORTIUM 499 – UNDER DIALOGUE.
2. NARRATOR: Mana-pitch: a magical resource of enormous power, and the source of our city’s wealth. But something about Manapitch City attracted unlikely events known as “glitches”, and improbable people called “glitchers”. Eventually, almost everyone used the obvious pun in unofficial conversation.
Now, a magical scheme to do away with glitches forever has plunged the City into confusion; and reality is even less reliable than before. We present Managlitch, City of Inconsistent Histories. Do try to keep your memories compatible, citizen.
3. EFFECT: QUICK STATIC BURST TO OPEN EPISODE.
4. GLENN 755: Hi. It’s Glenn SevenFiftyFive. This is the Managlitch City Underground, sending on zed-frequencies 23.08 and 23.17 to bring – to bring you – to…
Cohorts… we are surkking screwed. You have no idea. Obviously, I’m out of Greyspace. Avrela and Nikolen and Sandrel and more smart people dragged me back home… but not before I had a nice long talk with the Countess Onyx.
A nice… long… talk.
Onyx… she mocked us. She mocked me. Oh, she told me so much; and then she laughed and told me to pass it along to all of you. She said maybe we would finally understand what we are dealing with. We can’t… we won’t… we, we can’t – stop – the Chosen.
The Ether Dominion has been toying with us, cohorts. Playing around! Banelight is only a sample of what they can do! They know about the Rangers. They know too much about the Seekers of Reason and Mistress Messiér. Countess Onyx knows things about MacAllen’s cybercasters that no one else has even guessed at… seemed like the only bunch she didn’t know much about was the Catfolk.
I don’t know much about the Catfolk either. She – she made me regret that.
Four million glitchers stuck in non-existence and each one aware of that… without a miracle, that’s our fate. Okay, yes, the Chosen have been stuck there for an indefinite eternity, but I didn’t do that! You didn’t do that! It’s not our fault!
I wonder who did do that.
You see: that foolish Revision spell weakened reality more than any glitch ever has. The Revision didn’t create Indecision. The black fogs are protective shells! Shells that formed around pockets where the other narrative resumed. Pockets where the Dominion could slowly and surely prepare their plans against us. Oh, it took time. They needed more Indecision, more of their people freed, access to more of their weapons.
Terrible weapons. We don’t fight wars in the Forty-One Worlds. I mean, once in a while someone gets a little too wound up and starts something that has to be stopped. We aren’t defenseless. But we have the horrible example of the Empire of Ash, and our disturbing legends from the time of the manapitch wars. The situation never gets really *bad*. But the Ether Dominion is a conquering empire. They know warfare, and without Indecision in the way they’d have rolled over us in no time.
Indecision is weakening. Our own tests confirm that. We think it’s Banelight doing it; the radiance from that cold blue sun robs our ether of the ability to make Indecision shells. I can’t tell you how the Chosen produce this effect because no one can tell me. They are so strong. The Countess showed me just how – just how strong – oh surt. Cohorts, I… I need a moment.
5. EFFECT: DISTORTED MODEM HANDSHAKE SOUND.
6. PROMOTION: (This is placeholder text for this episode’s promo.) Officially, they call it Manapitch City: a science-fantasy sprawl of millions of content souls. But sometime, reality fails in the City, and people “glitch”, in dangerous ways.
Our show is Managlitch City Underground. If you’re a glitcher, you might learn something useful – or at least entertaining. Visit managlitch.com to listen, subscribe, comment, or just watch the city’s aura flicker overhead. That’s Managlitch City Underground, at managlitch.com.
7. EFFECT: DISTORTED MODEM HANDSHAKE SOUND.
8. GLENN 755: I’m sick.
I don’t mean sick from fear. Not that that helps any. And I don’t mean just from being in Greyspace. I don’t I was real enough there to get sick.
But I was real enough – real enough for – for…
I’m not going to tell you everything the Countess did to me. I don’t especially want to think about the specifics. And okay, yeah. I’m back where she can’t touch me.
But something’s wrong with me. Something is killing me.
I collected some favors and promised a few, and I’ve been examined by the finest chirurgeons in the City. I mean professionals who could cure anything short of brain death, and I think they’re working on that. They can’t tell me what’s wrong. But they can confirm something is.
I… I may not live to see the Chosen come for us. I mean really come to wipe us out.
I survived the demon Malicious, I survived the Revision, I survived a trip through Indecision… but the Countess did something to me, and no one can fix it.
No. One. Can. Surkking. Fix. This!
I’m no Void-dammed hero! I collect rumors and stories and whispers for resale. I didn’t ask for this life! I just glitched, okay? Wasn’t my idea. And I found something to do after my life was ruined. And I got kinda good at it. And I thought, “hey, it would be fun to take over the Underground broadcast for a while, everyone needs a hobby!” And then by crazy luck I ended up in the company of royalty and rebels and cybercasters and Catfolk and ministers and Mistroxi and then some vengeful surkking monster decides for that I need to suffer and –
I, I just wanted to share some time with you. I wanted to make a big bunch of broadcast friends; to make you all my cohorts in the bizarre adventure of life in Managlitch City.
When Malicious dropped a building on me, I thought at least I would die pretty quick of blood loss. But that’s not my fate. I’m going to die slow.
I could blame MacAllen. He did worse to the Countess than she did to me. But I don’t. She made this decision. She decided to hurt someone who’d never done anything to her; who just knew a couple things.
It doesn’t matter anyway. Cohorts, it’s been really great, and thank you for listening. I’m sorry about what’s going to happen, and I really thought we could stop it. But I’m done. This is my last broadcast for the Underground. I’m going to go quietly and –
9. SANDREL CREED: Glenn SevenFiftyFive. What are you doing?
10. GLENN 755: Oh. Hello Sandrel. You certainly know your way around here these days.
11. SANDREL CREED: Hello and conversational pleasantries to you as well. What are you doing?
12. GLENN 755: Can we talk later? I’m wrapping things up here. I’m not really in the mood for battle-grid right now but maybe –
13. SANDREL CREED: What are you doing?
14. GLENN 755: I TOLD you. I’m shutting down the broadcast. I’d hand it over to someone – you seem to like it – but what the Void, we’re not going to need it much –
15. SANDREL CREED: You are giving up.
16. GLENN 755: Yeah. Yeah. I’m done. I’m over this, you know?
17. SANDREL CREED: You are the one who says on every broadcast that we must resist the invaders and fight for the future.
18. GLENN 755: There. Is. No. Point! There is no more future to fight for! Soon none of us will have a future or a past, just endless, timeless Grey. And it looks like I’m not even going to have that.
19. SANDREL CREED: I am disappointed in you, Glenn.
20. GLENN 755: Well you can be as surkking disappointed as you want, I guess. What difference will it make?
21. SANDREL CREED: To Void with you then.
22. GLENN 755: What? What the surk did you just say?
23. SANDREL CREED: That is the correct expression among organics, correct? Yes. To Void with you.
24. GLENN 755: How – how DARE you! After every surkking thing I have been through in the last four years –
25. SANDREL CREED: I had no idea this is the best you organics can do. I expected better. Perhaps I should assist Grodan Rix with Function Seven after all.
26. GLENN 755: What… what is Function Seven?
27. SANDREL CREED: What difference does it make to you?
28. GLENN 755: I don’t know. I mean… I just was wondering, after listening to you two argue about it and now you bring it up.
29. SANDREL CREED: Shall I tell you?
30. GLENN 755: Yes. I’d like to know.
31. SANDREL CREED: No. Surk you.
32. GLENN 755: What!!!
33. SANDREL CREED: Based on your previous speech patterns, I believe I said it correctly.
34. GLENN 755: What is WRONG with you, Sandrel?
35. SANDREL CREED: What is wrong with you?
36. GLENN 755: What – I’m going to DIE, that’s what’s wrong!
37. SANDREL CREED: Are you already dead? I have been curious to know what it is like to talk to someone who is dead.
38. GLENN 755: No, I’m not already dead! I’m going to die soon, but I’m not dead yet and I was just curious to know what your stupid Function Seven was?
39. SANDREL CREED: I’m sorry. There appears to be a fault in my linguistic processing. What did you say?
40. GLENN 755: I said I wanted to know about your Function Seven because I’m not dead yet!
41. SANDREL CREED: You are not dead yet?
42. GLENN 755: No, Void-dammit! I’m not dead yet!
43. SANDREL CREED: That is good to know. See you online for battle-grid later. Good-bye.
44. GLENN 755: What? What the… Okay. Yeah. Right. I get it. I get it. Fine. Maybe I’m going to be dead soon, and maybe the Ether Dominion is going to wipe Managlitch City from the face of reality itself, but I’m going to surkking beat you in battle-grid one more time before any of that happens, Sandrel.
Well? You heard zir. I’ll be back next open period on this zed-frequency, on net, information-tower, and data-scry to tell you how I kicked Sandrel Creed’s digital ass!! I get it. Keep resisting! Fight for the future! Or at the very least, make SOMEONE remember how hard it was to take. You. Down.
45.MUSIC: BACKGROUND MUSIC – “CRIME OF THE CENTURY” BY CONSORTIUM 499 – BEHIND ANNOUNCER.
46.ANNOUNCER: The voice of Managlitch City Underground today was Michael O’Brien as Glenn SevenFiftyFive. Maya Kralovna voiced Princess Swiftstorm as our narrator. Sandrel Creed appeared as zirself. Episode Thirty-four: “Greymind”, was written by Michael O’Brien and script-edited by Maya Kralovna. Our theme music is “Crime of the Century” by Consortium 499, on the web at reverbnation.com/consortium499. All other content is copyright 2015-2018, Glitch City Media.
Visit our website at managlitch.com for more information about the City and links to our podcast archives. If you have questions about the world of Managlitch City, email them to email@example.com, or leave them as comments on our website, and we may use them in a future episode. If you enjoyed this podcast, please consider leaving a positive review on iTunes! It helps a lot.